I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
