I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
