i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
