There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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