Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
