How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
