Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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