Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
