I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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