I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
