but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
