You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We need to get me chipped asap
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
