we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize