I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
