if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i now understand why vodka
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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