I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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