talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
