this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
