At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
