I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize