And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
