The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
