I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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