i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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