Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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