so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
