my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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