She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
