he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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