I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
