My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
