you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
