Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
