everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
