okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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