I just made out with a guy for $7.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
