Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
