I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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