Screwed.edu
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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