she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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