dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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