he wants to bone in the snuggie
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
