VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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