I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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