I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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