I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
