when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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