She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
