Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
