can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
