he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
