garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
