they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
