I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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