so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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