They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
