Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
