he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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