While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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