the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
