You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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