there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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