Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
