Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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