i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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