"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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